I would like to take this platform to dish out My 2013 NBA predictions with a serious Rick Carlisle look in my face.No more David Stern, No more Doug Collins and hopefully, No more serious injuries and I think I just saw a Ryan Bang close up on TV and definitely, not a good sign.
On to my Picks
Rookie of the Year:
Victor Oladipo
Numerous experts like what they saw this pre season that made him the favorite to win it this year. The draft class this year is not even close to K-Pop cohesiveness Rather, I would like to compare this class to a poorman's Chicser and it's Cody Zeller's fault.I would like to call him Victor "Home" Ola-DEPOT obviously because he has all the tools to re-decorate the Magic's Abandoned-Old-Hotel-Look and turn it into a Decent-But-Not-Yet-Classy Mahal Kita Drive Inn.
Runner up: Ben McLemore
Defensive Player of the Year:
LeBron James
Last Year, Nobody saw Marc Gasol winning this one like a chase down block on the universe. So this year, I'm going to pick the obvious. He's going to win another MVP so why can't he do an and-1 in the process? We all saw LBJ's defensive evolution the past few years. He's getting much more Impulsive on defense just like how you swipe your master card on a 3 Day sale at Megamall. I don't see Dwight Howard getting back close to his defensive shape anytime soon and I'm certain that the sudden addition of easy shot blocking in video games are inspired by LBJ's aggressiveness on defense. Like a squatter being thrown out of their land kind of aggression.
Runner up: Tony Allen
Sixth Man of the Year:
Harrison Barnes
With all eyes on Steph and Klay like naked women on a men's Mag, Harrison Barnes doesn't get that much fanfare. I'm giving him a full page for his much deserved attention-not naked though. We've all seen his playoffs performance but we've never seen Barnes in his peak form and this year would be the stretch that Mark Jackson and the whole Bay Area is waiting to see. I'm irrationally confident that the Black Condor will show us his spread.No pun.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPMgaibszjk
Runner up: J.R. Smith
Most Improved Player:
Jonas Valanciunas
The potential of an unhappy Lithuanian scared me off a little. You can't win the MIP if you didn't improve and the Summer League MVP is not to be shrugged off. Adding up muscle in the off season just proves that He'll be on a mission this year to show us that he's not just another "Jonas".
Runner up: Kawhi Leonard
Coach of the Year:
Doc Rivers
The End of "Lob City" as what they call it. With Doc, The Clippers will finally have this borderline great deep playoff team. We all have to think that he's a former Celtic coach and now he's Running the other LA team on the same building. Remember when Pau Gasol Pissed off Chris Paul when he tapped his head like his own son? Doc rivers will treat the Lakers like Kris Aquino's Son, Josh--They Will never ever get out of the Clippers shadow for a very long time.
Runner up: Jason Kidd
Most Valuable Player:
LeBron James
Barring voter's fatigue, He's on his way for a 5th MVP in 6 Seasons. He already reached this almost embarrassing level of greatness that nobody ever thought of.I'm not even wary of his MVP-Mongering because He's really that great! Picking him is a No-Brainer. It's not as complicated as choosing for a "50 Shades of Grey" Actor or Choosing your WeChat profile photo or which mistress to mistress. If you drink only when LBJ doesn't win an MVP award, that would be a good 1st step toward sobriety.
Runner up: Kevin Durant
Custom Awards:
First player who would likely to drop 50:
Stephen Curry
The 54- Point Jack off in MSG last Season will not be his Last. Also this is the debut of the non-high-five-high-five.
Runner up: James Harden
First player who would likely to record a triple double:
Rajon Rondo
Last Year, I picked Rajon Rondo for this one but Andre Drummond butchered it for me. Now He'll be back as healthy as ever and looking forward to hijack the Triple Double Section in ESPN Stats.
Runner up: LeBron James
Disgruntled, talented player who will be likely get traded mid-season:
Luol Deng
He has been stuck in the Basketball purgatory for so long since Byron Mullens was stuck in Charlotte. He Has to push the panic button midway through the season and ask to be traded somewhere else not with the Lakers. Or else, He'll Look like Mark Escueta and his bizarre attachment with Rivermaya.
Runner up: Everybody in Utah Jazz
Comeback player we're all excited to see:
Derrick Rose
We never had this kind of comeback anticipation since Maui Taylor's return to the Viva Hot Babes recently. Let's not forget the Basketball tragedy he encountered two years ago that forced him to miss all of last season and we all miss him. the kind of miss that we want to give our Monitors/TV/LEDs/Smart Phones a long, meaningful genitals-to-genitals hug as soon as he hit the floor against Miami. Now tell me, when will Ellen Adarna make a goddamn comeback?
Runner up: Kobe Bryant
Player who will make an impact on his new team:
Toss Up between Josh Smith And Brandon Jennings
I have a feeling that Joe Dumars checks the suggestion box inside his office after an atrocious Ben Gordon 3. I have a feeling that Charlie Villanueva can Out-Brick an atrocious Ben Gordon 3 without batting an eyelash. Actually,I'm not sure if he has eyelashes.I have a feeling that Josh Smith and Brandon Jennings has the type of leverage that you feel like you want to take a whole Andok's Chicken home, but your wife has already started cooking Igado.Since your wife made it, You'd still eat it, Right? That's the kind of Leverage these two players will give to Detroit whether they're Andok's or Igado on any given night.
Runner up: Andre Igoudala
Coach who will probably get the first axe:
Mike D' Antoni
Mike Brown was Sneak-Fired last year 5 games into the season and I'm banking on another Laker coach firing this year. Let's face it, Every Laker fan out there still want Phil Jackson to come back and make one last run with Kobe.Imagine in June, Kobe and Phil in the middle of the court hugging each other for one last damn time and a ecstatic Adam silver handing them the O' Brien trophy. It's already giving me goosebumps just by thinking about this Juicy basketball subplot. Only Vinny Del Negro can single handedly prevent this from happening.
Runner up: Jeff hornacek
Team who will likely win the Andrew Wiggins Sweeptakes:
Philadelphia 76ers
There has never been an obvious and shameful tanking like this since the LeBron Draft. The Deepest Draft since 1996 and possibly 2004, Teams are playing correct minus wrong kind of strategy to bag more pin pong balls come next year's lottery night. Wiggins is the closest thing to a Kobe and T-mac hybrid. He's the basketball version of Shaina and Jessy Mendiola gift wrapped into one and the 2014 NBA draft is the Basketball version of Star Magic Ball. Who doesn't want these gift bags from the basketball gods? Sorry, Suns Fans, Y'all probably bound to draft an Unkown Senegalese Player next year.
Runner Up: Boston Celtics
How many wins will the Miami Heat record during another winning streak?
38
How many games Greg Oden will play this season?
5
Scoring Champion:
Kevin Durant
The Cup size won't change even The Angel Locsin of Scoring just recently separated with Phil Younghusband.
.jpg)
Runner up: Carmelo Anthony
Western conference Darkhorse:
New Orleans Pelicans
There's just this weird feeling of excitement in me for them this season. That's It.
Longshot but not impossible: Portland Trailblazers
Eastern conference Darkhorse:
Cleveland Cavaliers
I realized, I'm more excited for the Cavs than the Pelicans. My bad.
Final Pick:
Miami Heat Vs Los Angeles Lakers
Let's do this again. Nick Young is the obvious kill joy in this one but I'm not going to let him stop the most intriguing storyline waiting to happen coming this June. To be honest, Their chances to face off in the finals is slimmer than John Wayne Sace's teen age self. But, the sports fan in me is telling me to try this one more time. If there's really a Basketball God, He'd read this Blog entry and share it with the Basketball fairies and make a holy union of Basketball Prayer and Wish. So please Baskteball Gods and Fairies, Let's have a LeBron-Kobe Finals before it's too late.
There's no such thing as a Basketball Contraceptive.
No comments:
Post a Comment