THE GOURMET CHEESEBURGER OF 2012 NBA SEASON PREDICTIONS

 Everybody loves predictions.whether it's comedic, some random flash of brilliance or we're just acting like we're going to have a lick of celebrity status on gatherings, meet ups and hang outs with friends Everytime something that we predicted actually happened.we feel good about it, right? like, we own everybody in the room and on that moment, nobody wanted to actually mess with us even for 5 minutes. suddenly, you feel invincible and immune to ridicule. they can't even talk about how bad you smell or how ugly the woman you're dating.I'm telling you, that's how powerful on-the-money. predictions can be.

That's exactly what I'm trying to do right now.after all, I'm a prediction extremist--- everyday i can predict how many extra rice i can order every lunch time and i turned out a little out of shape and I'm doing this to predict my way to shape as the season goes.
since we're only a few days away from the NBA tip-off, it would be nice to dish out some of my  predictions with an enclosed "i-told-you-so" prefix on each and every category. to make things a little interesting, i added up some custom categories just to give this article another layer.
to my reader(s), i encourage you to take notes and score at home. feel free to capture a screen shot and emotionally black mail me if ever i recorded a triple double of wrong predictions after wrong predictions after wrong predictions.

so here are my picks:

Rookie of the year:

Michael Kidd-Gilchrist

'12 draft class' a talented bunch and as much as i want to take Dion waters and Austin rivers just for sentimental TLC reference sake, i think MKG's a strong pick for this award.he played sparingly in the summer league not until an injury sidelined him but on that span, he already displayed flash of his NBA-ready skills that we're all aware he's capable of since college. if he showed up and the way we expect him to,he's got a great chance to carry the bobcats from 7-59 to 8-59.

Runner up: Anthony Davis

Defensive player of the year:

Dwight Howard

Okay, let's just rename it the D12 defensive player of the year award and put his smiley face on the trophy already.there's no chance in hell that he's not winning it this season. Dwight letting go of the DPOY is like feeling your neighbor's daughter's boobs and not wanting to see her again the next night-- there's always a 1:1 ratio probability that you're holding onto it a little longer the next time at bat.

Runner up: Tyson chandler

Sixth man of the year:

J.R. Smith

Originally, i had harden on my original draft but Sam Presti screwed this pick for me.James Harden's a mortal lock to win it this year but he got Back-doored and there's no way he's going to come off the bench this season so in default, I'll go with J.R. Smith which everything about him screams "sixth man" . the Knicks are the oldest team in the league and J.R.'s an explosive scorer who's dependable on a great point guard. they got Felton back and added Kidd on the fold so expect his production go up and help the Knicks run this year now that amar'e's on his annual 6-8 weeks mandatory leave.

Runner up: Jason terry


Most improved player:

Paul George

Who doesn't want to root for a guy with great two first names? if you got a chance to pick a guy who can complete a 360 windmill dunk in the dark, you have to do it.this guy gives me headaches every time my created player plays against the pacers in NBA 2k13 where i get dunked on most of the time. he was selected on the NBA all rookie 2nd team last season and expect him to up the ante this year. who knows, he might be chosen on the all rookie first team this year.

Runner up: Evan turner


Coach of the year:

Doug Collins

I'm here for the shock value and I'm actually praying to everything that's holy that this actually happens or else I'll develop an annoying texting habit. I'm over looking the rest of the league without any apparent reason but i got a gut feeling about this so I'm sticking with my pick and y'all can kiss my inappropriate body part.

Runner up: Frank Vogel


Most Valuable Player:

LeBron James

this year's MVP might be pretty obvious but for fun's sake,let's assess other possible candidates and allow me to use this analogy...

LBJ's the anne curtis of MVPs--he's too damn good to pass. it's like passing on her every time a movie about secret affairs and adultery comes around.actually, i don't have to waste another sentence to explain this pick/analogy.


Chris Paul is Kim chiu-- great point guards are like great women -- you remember every one that crossed your path over the years.just like a real true  point guard, he also makes everybody around him better.
Kim Chiu's Gerald Anderson is to Chris Paul's Tyson Chandler, they made each other better actually. after their respective break ups, they managed to make it on their own.Gerald actually became a household name out of Kim's shadow just like what Tyson chandler did in Dallas and even winning a ring and a DPOY award. Kim chiu's xian lim is chris paul's blake griffin, who else can make blake better but a point guard of CP3's caliber. so when chris paul went to the clippers, everybody got excited. it's like seeing SM mall asia for the first time. xian lim became a legit main man when he got paired with kim chiu and sending teeners and bored housewives into full-scale pandemonium everytime their lips touch on TV--just like when chris paul sets up blake for an orgasmic punch in the rim.

Kevin Durant is Angel Locsin-- his scoring compensates her cup size.


Runner ups: Kevin Durant, Chris Paul



Custom Awards:

First player who would likely to drop 50:

Monta ellis

Another classic case of good stats on a bad team guy. nobody on Milwaukee other than Brandon Jennings can score so this is an easy choice.

Runner up: Brandon Jennings


First player who would likely to record a triple double:

Rajon rondo

upon learning about rumors of an impending trade last year, he dropped an eff-you 18 points, 17 rebounds, 20 assists game against the Knicks. ESPN should start a rondo trade rumor the eve of their opener this season to lit a fire right under his ass.
 
Runner up: LeBron james


Disgruntled, talented player who will be likely get traded mid-season:
Josh smith

alright, this might be a Longshot but I'm still looking forward to it. it all depends on how the hawks will perform on the first 2 months of the season and how good Devin Harris would fit on the team. a pissed-off josh smith on a new team is a hella scary sight so let's keep our eyes on this before he decks Pachulia while watching at the Jumbotron during a timeout.

Runner up: Al Jefferson

Comeback player we're all excited to see
Brandon Roy

We're all feeling for derrick rose when he tore his ACL on the first round of last year's playoffs. since then, it's known that he's working his butt-off to return fully healed this season. he even got the media rallying behind him and started filming his road to recovery and cried once on a shoe launch. but people, let's not forget about Brandon Roy. he's been forced to retire last year because of defective knees and the whole basketball world thought he's done. but the competitive that he is, he has defied the odds by attempting a comeback this year. we're all suckers for a feel good story whether we admit it or not and we'll see if this comeback's going to go up there along with grant hill and a skinny Jonah hill who doesn't look like he ate Seth Rogen anymore .

Runner up: derrick rose

Player who will make an impact on his new team

Andre Igoudala

I'm expecting Iggy to reach a certain level of proficiency now that he's got a new team. we all know what he's capable of.fresh off his team USA stint this summer and working with the greats,he already get this great upside potential to the phrase "great upside potential". only Javale Mcgee can stop this guy on a fast break--and they're team mates.

Runner up: O.J. Mayo

Coach who will probably get the first axe
Scott Skiles

Let's face it, he can't turn the ship in Milwaukee.he never can. we can't blame him and I'm already getting depressed just by typing this.
 
Runner up: siot tanquincen


Western conference Darkhorse
Minnesota Timberwolves

whatever. all i know is it's pretty cool to think that they can have an all-white starting five. are we expecting them to crack the last playoff spot this season? i'd say yes. a fully healed and a very- Likeable-Looking-Less-Like-A-Jonas-Brother Ricky Rubio + Alexey Shved = a very dangerous boy band duo material.

Longshot but not impossible: golden state warriors


Eastern conference Darkhorse

Indiana Pacers

I actually picked them last year and I'm still picking them this year.do you you even realize that they gave the heat a scare in the playoffs? man, and they're also pretty loaded this season. they added D.J. Augustin, Gerald green and still trying to talk Jeff foster out of retirement. it's given that the heat will own the east but I'm counting on the pacers to push them off the ropes a little bit. good, solid team.i like this pick.
 
Longshot but not impossible: Washington wizards



Final pick:

Miami heat over Los angeles lakers

Kobe vs LeBron, Chris Bosh vs Pau Gasol, Juwan Howard's cadaver vs Dwight Howard, Ray Allen vs Antawn Jamison, Mario Chalmers vs Jodie Meeks, Dwyane Wade vs Steve Blake, Steve Nash vs his barber, Metta world peace vs his twitter followers on a classic 7 game finals.who doesn't want that?! this is already enough of a basketball boner.